February 2011

Right Now.

1. "'I don't have much time, I have to haul corpses.  I don't have much time, I have to breathe, eat, drink, sleep.  I don't have much time, I have to keep the gears meshing.  I don't have much time, I'm busy living.  I don't have much time, I'm busy dying.  As you can imagine, there were no more questions.'" -Roberto Bolaño, 2666 (Translated by Natasha Wimmer)

2. "'Why isn't the wind happy, Mummy?' asked Walter one night.
'Because it is remembering all the sorrow of the world since time began,' answered Anne." -L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Ingleside

3. "'…I know it's good for me. Horrible things always are good for you, I suppose. After you've been killed a few times you don't mind it. But the first time one does — squirm.'" -L.M. Montgomery, Emily's Quest

4. "'Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them, for God's sake — especially if they were about a thousand times nicer than the people you know that're alive and all.'" -J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

5. "…and come back, come back, come back to me." -Virginia Woolf, Jacob's Room

6. "One can get over anything in time." -Katherine Mansfield, "The Canary"

7. "'It makes me very sad at times to think about her. But really, Marilla, one can't stay sad very long in such an interesting world, can one?'" -L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Random Musing
Sticking quotes #6 and #7 in there is kind of misleading. I don't feel that way. Not at all. That's just how I think I'll probably feel one day. Or how I hope I'll feel one day. That's "one day," not "right now." Right now I'm just hoping that I'll eventually get to a point where the world seems utterly interesting. Or even remotely interesting. Cause it doesn't right now. Instead it seems surreal and sad and inexplicable.

I guess what I'm saying is that what I find so awful about right now is that no matter what else is going on in life the one all-consuming feeling I have can essentially be summed up by:

                 "…wondering what God had wrought when He made life so sad."

Dreams and Dreaming #7

"Grown people were so strangely oblivious to the truly important things of life.  Material for new garments, of night or day, could be bought in any shop for a trifling sum and made up out of hand.  But if a dream escape you, in what market-place the wide world over can you hope to regain it?  What coin of earthly minting will ever buy back for you that lost and lovely vision?" -L.M. Montgomery, The Story Girl

On Words #10

"…she knew few words and believed in none,…" -F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night

On Friendship #12

"'There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. My attachments are always excessively strong.'" -Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

On Love #12

"'Oh, no, no, I couldn't hurt her by loving her.'
'I'm not so sure of that,' muttered Old Grandmother, who was constantly saying things Marigold was to understand twenty years later." -L.M. Montgomery, Magic for Marigold

On Happiness #21

"'I suppose one gets a habit of doing without happiness or hope.'" -George Eliot, Middlemarch

The Trouble With Afterwards

"'I'm not afraid, but it seems as if I should be homesick for you even in heaven.'" -Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

"'Heaven must be very beautiful, of course, the Bible says so — but, Anne, it won't be what I've been used to.'" -L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

"'…and he wasn't reconciled to dying. Dora told him he was going to a better world. "Mebbe, mebbe," says poor Ben, "but I'm sorter used to the imperfections of this one."'" -L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Windy Poplars

Rest in Peace Erica Teevens

"…she was one of those happily created beings who please without effort, make friends everywhere, and take life so gracefully and easily that less fortunate souls are tempted to believe that such are born under a lucky star." -Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

"'She looks just as music sounds, I think,' answered Anne." -L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

"'Dead?' said Sophie. She had a silly impulse to add, But she was alive an hour ago! And she stopped herself, because death is like that: people are alive until they die."
-Diana Wynne Jones, Howl's Moving Castle

Random Musing
Erica Teevens passed away on February 8, 2011. It's almost too ridiculous and horrible to believe.

On Marriage

"'…marriage, they say, halves one's rights and doubles one's duties.'" -Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

"'…for I look upon the Frasers to be about as unhappy as most other married people.'" -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

"'Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.'" -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"Her marriage to Leonce Pontellier was purely an accident, in this respect resembling many other marriages which masquerade as the decrees of Fate." -Kate Chopin, The Awakening

"'"For better, for worse."' That sounds wonderful…but is there really such a thing as love in the world? We all believe it until we are twenty. Why, I used to believe it. Before I married Ramsay I used to lie awake at nights to think about him. Well, I did it after we were married, too, but not for the same reason. It was to wonder what woman he was with. I wonder how his new marriage is turning out. Sometimes I think I was a fool to divorce him. A home and position means a good deal.'" -L.M. Montgomery, The Blythes are Quoted

"And I knew that in spite of all the roses and kisses and restaurant dinners a man showered on a woman before he married her, what he secretly wanted when the wedding service ended was for her to flatten out underneath his feet like Mrs. Willard's kitchen mat." -Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

"…there's nothing in the world so bad for some women as marriage…" -Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway

"But such things happen to every one. Every one has friends who were killed in the War. Every one gives up something when they marry." -Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway

"For at any rate, she said to herself...she need not marry, thank Heaven: she need not undergo that degradation." -Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

"A married state affords but little ease
The best of husbands are so hard to please.
This in wives' careful faces you may spell
Though they dissemble their misfortunes well.
A virgin state is crowned with much content;
It's always happy as it's innocent.
No blustering husbands to create your fears;
No pangs of child birth to extort your tears;
No children's cries for to offend your ears;
Few worldly crosses to distract your prayers:
Thus are you freed from all the cares that do
Attend on matrimony and a husband too.
Therefore Madam, be advised by me
Turn, turn apostate to love's levity,
Suppress wild nature if she dare rebel.
There' s no such thing as leading apes in hell." -Katherine Philips, "A Married State"

Maggie: Don't you believe in marriage?
Jane: Yes, for women.
-The Women (1939)

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