Harry Potter Humor

Quotations
"'I hope you're pleased with yourself. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled.'" -J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

"'What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows.'" -J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

"'Broaden your minds, my dears, and allow your eyes to see past the mundane!…'"
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"Professor Trelawney behaved almost normally until the very end of Christmas dinner, two hours later. Full to bursting with Christmas dinner and still wearing their party hats, Harry and Ron got up first from the table and she shrieked loudly.
'My dears! Which of you left his seat first? Which?'
'Dunno,' said Ron, looking uneasily at Harry.
'I doubt it will make much difference,' said Professor McGonagall coldly, 'unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the entrance hall.'
Even Ron laughed. Professor Trelawney looked highly affronted." -J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"'Harry Potter will do the task!' squeaked the elf. 'Dobby knew Harry Potter had not found the right book, so Dobby did it for him!'
'What?' said Harry. 'But you don't know what the second task is —'
'Dobby knows, sir! Harry Potter has to go into the lake and find his Wheezy —'
'Find my what?'
'— and take his Wheezy back from the merpeople!'
'What's a Wheezy?'
'Your Wheezy, sir, your Wheezy — Wheezy who is giving Dobby his sweater!'"
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"Hermione yawned widely and poured herself some coffee. She looked mildly pleased about something, and when Ron asked her what she had to be so happy about, she simply said, 'The hats have gone. Seems the house-elves do want freedom after all.'
'I wouldn't bet on it,' Ron told her cuttingly. 'They might not count as clothes. They didn't look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders.'
Hermione did not speak to him all morning." -J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"…'Well, you have!' she said. 'And you won't look at any of us!'
'It's you lot who won't look at me!' said Harry angrily.
'Maybe you're taking it in turns to look and keep missing each other,' suggested Hermione, the corners of her mouth twitching." -J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"'And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die — I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong.'" -J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Random Musing
In honor of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 coming out this Friday, let's have some Harry Potter posts for the next few days.