Paris Eustace Geller

Paris: Well, how nice it must be to be you. Maybe someday I'll stumble into a Disney movie and suddenly be transported into your body, and after living there awhile, I'll finally realize the beauty of myself. But until that moment, I'm going to go in there and I'm going to become a Puff. Now get out of my way.
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 2.07: Like Mother, Like Daughter)

Paris: You're not torturing me, you know. I don't care. My scores were great. I'm very, very happy with my scores. And I hate looking at a sunset so my standard for happiness is high!
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 2.11: Secrets and Loans)

Janet: No. I cannot calm down. I have tried to be reasonable. I have told myself over and over, "God, look at her. Imagine what she's been through to make her turn out like that."
Paris: A lot!
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 4.05: The Fundamental Things Apply)

Rory: No, I'm just making you crazy.
Paris: Like that's hard. Feel proud.
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 4.09: Ted Koppel's Big Night Out)

Paris: Great, we have one prop, and it's blowing away.
Rory: You knocked it over.
Paris: Well, you put it right in front of me.
Rory: How was I supposed to know you were gonna jump out of your seat like a maniac?
Paris: You know me. You room with me. You should have known.
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 4.17: Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin' the Twist)

Female Student: Is it raining?
Paris: No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot.
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 4.17: Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin' the Twist)

Paris: No man is an island, but this woman is.
-Gilmore Girls (Episode 6.13: Friday Night's Alright For Fighting)

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